Why a Zombie story?

photo by Ron Warren

Everybody likes zombies. This is a true-ism if ever there was one. Why? Because they are the multi-purpose monster, the Big Blank that can represent almost anything that scares us.

A long time ago, Clive Barker said something like, “Zombies are the liberal’s worst nightmare,” because, to him they were the symbol of mindless Right Wing conformity. Maybe there’s some truth to that, but then why do conservatives also enjoy a good zombie story? What do the undead mean to the G.O.P.? The loss of individualism, maybe?

For me, zombies work best as a commentary on single-minded consumerism. We live in a world that is increasingly obsessed with a selfish desire to own, to have what the neighbors have or what the television insists we wouldn’t be complete without. And the fact that so many of our celebrities now are nothing more than walking billboards for excess and greed confirms that. Rappers put out new songs celebrating a lifestyle devoted to nothing more than making money. The Kardashians have replaced Paris Hilton as the new benchmarks of hip conformity and bland mediocrity. And what about poor ole’ Paris Hilton? Like all commodities, she was eventually tossed away when a shinier model emerged.

I used to have nightmares about zombies. Whenever I found myself in a stressful period, or depressed, the undead would shuffle into my bad dreams. And here’s the weird part: these dreams always seemed to be part of the same big, over-arching scenario. They seemed to be actually moving forward, from one mind-searing encounter to the next.

So I wanted to write about them, to translate some of the nightmares into a manageable story.
For a long time, I resisted the urge. The world really didn’t need another zombie story, I figured. I decided that, if I could ever think of a new twist on zombie mythology, maybe then I would do it.

But after a few years I had sort of an epiphany—a new twist wasn’t what I needed.
Every single good zombie story has the exact same plot: zombies invade, group of survivors interact and try to stay alive. Bam. That’s it. That’s the formula. Oh, sure, someone may occasionally tweak the zombies a bit (in their origins and in their behavior) but the formula remains the same.

So why do we continue to watch/read them? Because we are interested in the characters. If we don’t care about the protagonists, then the whole story is a wash.

And so… with DEADLAND USA, I shifted focus away from trying to add a new element to the mythology, and focused instead on presenting a narrator and a set of characters the reader could care about, or be interested in. Maybe some human-types that you haven’t seen in a zombie scenario before.

The narrator, Sam Lynch, is a young punk—a kid who was lazy and shiftless before the zombies came. He suffers from depression (has to take pills to keep himself going), is haunted by bad decisions before and after the world ended, and is constantly close to suicide. But he has to keep all that to himself, because the small band of survivors he’s with have taken to looking to him for leadership. It’s a role he isn’t suited for, but… he’ll have to grow into it.
DEADLAND USA is a coming-of-age story. A story about sacrifice, and suppressing one’s own fears and doubts to serve the greater good.

And it’s also a story about massive zombie carnage. And punk rock.

I hope you check it out.

No Rules: ANTHONY NEIL SMITH

In the last few years, Anthony Neil Smith has emerged as one of the most unique and unpredictable voices in dark, twisted crime fiction. His books include PSYCHOSOMATIC, HOGDOGGIN', CHOKE ON YOUR LIES, YELLOW MEDICINE, and THE DRUMMER. His newest, ALL THE YOUNG WARRIORS, will be one of the first releases from the brand-new publisher, Blasted Heath.

His books are beautifully sleazy sometimes, with expertly constructed, labyrinthine plots, and I can tell you without hesitation that he is one of the finest writers on the scene these days. I'm very honored to have him here at Psycho-Noir.

Please welcome ANTHONY NEIL SMITH, with a few choice words about the boob tube...


TV IS GOOD. SO SHUT UP, YOU SNOBS.

Here’s the thing: I get bored with movies. While I love good, stylish, over-the-top directors and such, I get so bored with the stuff I’m “supposed” to like as a crime fan. I don’t know why. I just...get so bored.

But not so much with good TV. I love TV. Not just crime stuff, but nearly all of it. I really cringe whenever I hear some snob from the literary set sniff and say, “I neh-vah watch TV. We don’t even oooown one.” Fuck you, you disconnected, self-congratulatory fuck.

I watch crap reality shows. I watch all the good stuff like Louie and Archer and The Wire. I watch cooking shows. I watch sitcoms like The Middle and Modern Family (you’re supposed to like Family, but the other is off-limits, apparently). And I watch some crime shows. But the deal is that the best crime shows are few, far between, and the most popular ones suck.

I actually thought Criminal Minds was not-half-bad the three or four times I watched it, but I don’t need to see every episode. There’s no need to follow the character arcs. There’s no real cohesive story, just cases of the week. Same with CSINCISLAL&O.

And while I really loved The Wire (another snob fave), I actually preferred The Shield, which was thrilling, pulpy, and when it was all done, it felt like a real fucking novel. The last ep was perhaps the finest ending to a series I’ve ever, ever, ever seen. Perfectly pitched.

Also, let’s just say The Wire had two really amazing seasons (Three and Four), but, well...man I loved those two seasons.

(You know what else I love to watch that’s not “crimey”? The Amazing Race.)

Some other shows that never worked for me: Torchwood, Terriers, Chicago Code, NYPD Blue, on and on and on...

The best crime television series of all time: Cracker. And let’s all forget that they tried an American version of that, please. Robbie Coltrane’s portrayal of “Fitz” is one of the best things ever put on TV, bar none. A far genius like Nero Wolfe (hey, sounds familiar), Fitz has a bad marriage (cheats a lot), bad habits (smokes, gambles, drinks, lies) and is smart enough to know he’s in the wrong but still justify his behavior in infuriatingly complex yet logical ways. He can make his wife feel like she’s the one responsible for his awfulness. He can talk a timid policewoman into bed because, well, he knows how to push the right mental buttons. He only takes police work to make some extra dough, but then becomes an animal. He loves the chase. He loves baiting the cops. He’s the real modern Sherlock Holmes (not that prissy high-tech new BBC series)—smarter than everyone around him, and still a huge mess. I’ve never seen a better TV show. And it’s a tough one to re-watch because of that. I like the memories I have of it. No need to go back and mess around with them by having another run.

Really, as a guy who loves novels—reading and writing them—more than any other form of entertainment, it seems to me the closest equivalent to that experience is a really good TV series. Why the hell do people think a feature film can do justice to all those fucking pages? The pacing is all wrong. The characters are never deep enough. The story has to be hacked to the lowest common denominator. Why not adapt more novels as TV series and leave the features to screenwriters who understand that they’re kind of going for the feel of a short story or novella instead? At least, that’s my two cents.

Other shows you won’t believe I like: Kitchen Nightmares, Hoarders, Work of Art (The Search for the Next Great Artist), Good Morning America, Top Gear (UK), Teen Mom, Judge Judy...

Don’t judge me.

DEADLAND USA ONE: MINDLESS CONSUMERISM now available

The first installment in my ongoing zombie saga, DEADLAND USA, is out now on the Kindle machine. Meet Sam Lynch, the messed-up nineteen-year-old punk rocker who finds himself thrust into a leadership role when the zombie plague happens. But does having seen hundreds of zombie flicks prepare one to survive them?

Ehh, probably not.

In "Mindless Consumerism", you'll be thrown headfirst into this Grave New World, right in the middle of the action. Bring shotguns, samurai swords, and your i-pod (if the battery hasn't already died).

Zombies and Punks for Halloween

Just got the good word that the first episode of my punk rock/zombie saga, DEADLAND, USA, will be out just in time for Halloween. Which is the timing I was hoping for. Like "That Damned Coyote Hill", the first Hawthorne story, DEADLAND USA is from the remarkably scrappy Trestle Press.

I'm grateful to Giovanni Gelati for taking the time to put it all together so well, considering all the other great stuff coming from Trestle these last few weeks. Col Bury, Angel Zapata, Darren Sant, Luca Veste, McDroll, and well, lots of others have brand new releases from Trestle right now, and Giovanni juggles them all with admirable skill.

Anyway, Happy Halloween, everyone. And, in the words of the vegetarian zombie... "GRAAIIINNNSSS!"

(Hollow-nosed) Bullet Points

Just some things I wanted to mention before we go into the weekend, since I don’t do much internet-related stuff on Saturdays or Sundays.

1. The “No Rules” guest posts are coming in steadily now, so starting on Monday I’ll be ramping them up to three a week. Next week, it'll be the one and only ANTHONY NEIL SMITH, book cover/photographer RON WARREN, and the funny-as-hell KIMMY DEE. And we’re only getting started…

2. In other news, I have a new e-short series starting soon from Trestle Press called DEADLAND USA. It’s a zombie serial. Yeah, that’s right. Because the world needs more zombie stories, wouldn’t you agree? I haven’t re-invented the wheel with DEADLAND (the zombie story formula works just fine as it is, I believe), but I think you’ll like the characters. They add a fresh perspective to the formula, and I also happen to think it’s some of my best writing to date.

3. Another HAWTHORNE tale is on the horizon, also, from Trestle. David Cranmer, a.k.a. Edward A. Grainger, made my day when he said, “Hawthorne with his "dull white scar in the shape of a cross cut across his forehead" may just be the most exciting antihero of the year.” Coming from the author of the critically-acclaimed Cash Laramie stories, I find that very, very pleasing.

4. If you weren’t already aware, I have a story in the brand-new issue of Crime Factory, called
“Blood Relations”. It’s surrounded by a bunch of great stuff from some brilliant writers, so I mention it in case it gets over-looked amidst all that coolness.

5. In early November, I’ll have a story at Shotgun Honey. And in December, Luca Veste’s OFF THE RECORD will be released—again, a bunch of excellent writers involved. My story is called “I Wanna Be Your Dog”.

6. I was also happy to see a handful of new reviews of my work. Mike Dennis gave a very kind review of “That Damned Coyote Hill”. Seth Lynch, Michelle Peden Vasquez and Benoit Lelievre all reviewed DIG TEN GRAVES and had nice things to say, and Katie Moore at The Legendary shared some thoughts about THE BASTARD HAND. Thanks, friends.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. Stop by Monday for a very interesting post by the hugely talented Anthony Neil Smith!

No Rules: KATY O'DOWD

I made the acquaintance of Katy O'Dowd just recently, and was impressed with her wit and style. A visit to her webpage, A IS FOR..., confirmed my suspicions that she was an up-and-comer and also cemented for me the fact that she is one to watch. She has TWO books coming out next year, and I for one will be all over them. She (along with Danny Bowman) helped come up with the title of one of my stories, and so was forever memorialized in it as a very strange child...

May I introduce to you-- Ms. Katy O'Dowd, with an introductory piece that has me frantic to see where it goes.

Let us imagine a man, a well-dressed, polite man, at the theatre with his sweetheart. He pulls her chair out for her, provides her with candied violets during the interlude, and hands her his handkerchief, washed and pressed, naturally, when she becomes upset at the sad part of the play. He takes her hand, to comfort her, and then lets it go – this is only their tenth date, and mores of the time dictate that it is too early for hand-holding.

After a late supper, the man gets his driver to take them to the young lady’s home, where she resides with her parents. On arrival at said destination he opens the door of the carriage, takes her gloved hand in his and helps her to alight. Standing behind her, he settles her cape more snugly around her shoulders, whispers a sweet nothing into her ear, and then takes his length of piano wire, and garrottes her, watching as her velvet slippered feet leave the ground, kicking at first with great force, as mewling sounds issue from her throat. Then feebly, and the kittenish cries cease.

Her body comes to rest and he lets it fall, gently, softly to the leaf-strewn ground, steps around her, climbs into the carriage, closes the door and raps on the roof to let the thug/driver know that he has said his goodbyes. As they turn the corner and out of sight, cries rent the otherwise silent night asunder – her parents have found her broken body.
He then goes home and takes tea with his mother and sister, settling aforementioned snowy white napkin ‘pon his spotlessly trousered lap.

If we were to mark our polished psycho out of ten, what would we give him? Being strict, he would certainly have to lose points for taking his sweetheart’s hand at the theatre.
What about the bit where he leaves his sweetheart’s head nearly sliced clean from her creamy shoulders, wound gaping and glistening with gore?

Oh, you silly! This is Etiquette for Eviscerators, Manners for Murderers if you will, not a chapter from Sense and Sensibility or some other worthy tome.
You can meet our Dapper Dispatcher, currently starring in a novella which is swiftly being turned into a series, in 2012.

For more about Katy O’Dowd, please read Heath Lowrance’s rather marvellous ‘That Damned Coyote Hill’. Her evil twin has two other books out in 2012, ‘The Scarlet Ribbon’ a medical historical sort of bodice ripper (as Derry O’Dowd) and ‘The Lady Astronomer’ a steampunky YA tale of adventure and derring-do.
www.katyodowd.com

Deadland USA

It's all over now. The world as we knew it is gone forever and there will be no future generations to read this. One ugly day in March the undead came and none of us were ready. How could we be? Within months, the entire planet was one writhing, bloody infestation, and all the governments, all the churches, all the great men of power and insight and wisdom, became as meaningless as the tinny tune of a broken music box.

So why do I bother to keep this journal? Good question. If there is no hope for tomorrow, why chronicle these events as I see them? Well, I'll tell you why.

It's the only thing that keeps me from going completely ape-shit insane.

So to you, welcome. To my Fictional Future Generation, my scores of happy safe delusions, welcome. Welcome to Deadland, USA.



Coming soon, from Trestle Press.