Thursday, January 14, 2016

Look up here, I'm in Heaven. Goodbye, David Bowie.

In the early 80s, MTV didn’t have a whole lot of videos in their catalogue, so if you had that station on for more than say six hours, you’d wind up seeing the same stuff over and over again. That’s really how I first came to be aware of David Bowie.

I mean, I knew who he was before that, sure. His early stuff was a staple of Detroit radio. You’d hear Ziggy Stardust all the time, and Rebel, Rebel, and Panic in Detroit. I liked all that stuff. But I wasn’t really… attached to it.

The David Bowie I saw on MTV, though… it was a different artist. One that really got right into my guts.

I still remember the first time I saw a Bowie video, and man, that’s saying something, considering the shit quality of my memory in general.  It was Fashion, from the 1980 album Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps), and I remember my brain going on the fritz for the duration of that song, my eyes glued to the TV, my stomach doing some weird fluttery shit I didn’t understand at the time.

The song, of course, was amazing, but it was more than that. It was this guy, this Bowie. He was so… odd. And so fascinating. He was beautiful. I’m as heterosexual as they come, honestly, but there was more than a little bit of a sexual response. In later years, it would become kind of a joke: would you have sex with a man? Naw, I don’t think so… unless it was David Bowie, har har har.

But he and his music came into my life at a sort of key juncture, a moment when I was changing into a young adult, on the verge of discovering who I really was. I was a weirdo and an outcast, a freak with a weird eye and zero confidence.

But here was this Bowie guy…he ALSO had a weird eye. But confidence? Damn. An IMMEASURABLE amount. He was clearly weird, and he clearly didn’t give a shit what you thought about that.

This was the same year I discovered punk rock, via my friend Lana, and all of this period of discovery that happened so fast and so intensely shaped who I would be for the rest of my life. I learned to embrace my outcast status and weirdness and it is no exaggeration to say it was because of David Bowie.

When a Bowie video would come on MTV, it didn’t matter what I was doing, everything came to a halt and I was completely committed to it. They played Fashion a lot, but also Ashes to Ashes, Look Back in Anger, I am a DJ, Heroes… he was one of only a few artists with an extensive video backlog, and so appeared frequently.

As I embraced the post-punk lifestyle with more and more enthusiasm, I bought my first Bowie album: Scary Monsters. It’s still probably my favorite. But eventually I possessed his entire discography, and realized that it was his late 70s stuff that really spoke to me. Beginning with Station to Station, then into his Berlin period, and ending with Scary Monsters. This was experimental, vital music from an artist at the top of his game, so moody and so smart, and so committed to a really singular artistic vision. Even at that young age, I recognized what David Bowie was—he was an artist with real integrity, a freak who didn’t care that he was a freak, and who had somehow made the world love him and embrace him for it.

I can’t even begin to tell you how inspirational that was to a young man like me, who wanted to hold on to who he was but who still desired love and acceptance.

And guess what? I followed Bowie’s example. And it worked. My late teen years, I was a different person. I embraced who I really was, I didn’t care anymore what anyone else thought, and because of it I gained friends…. And yes, girls. Mostly other weirdos, but you know… confident weirdos hold a great deal of appeal for the “normals” as well.

In that regard, David Bowie shaped who I would be for the rest of my life. More than any other artist.

In the late 80s, I spent a lot of time in Detroit’s various post-punk nightclubs and bars, doing my best to look and act like David Bowie. I experimented a bit with bi-sexuality, because I wanted to be open to new experiences… like Bowie.

Girls liked my weird eye. I heard many times: “Your eyes are beautiful…. Like David Bowie….”

And he would continue to be there, forever after.

When the album Let’s Dance came out, Bowie’s very deliberate (and highly successful!) attempt to reinvent himself as a pop star, I was on board. I knew what he was doing, as did most of his hardcore fans. He was playing yet another role. And even if we turned our noses up at radio friendly pop, we gave Bowie a pass, because it felt like an infiltration of the mainstream, an art spy in the ranks of our enemy. And besides, it was fucking GOOD pop music.

He masqueraded as a pop star for the bulk of the 80s, with varying results depending on the album, but by the 90s he had shrugged that persona off as being too artistically unfulfilling, and moved on to riskier sounds again. He probably outstayed the pop star thing, but I was all too willing to forgive him that.

In the years since, I’ve always been excited at the prospect of a new Bowie release. His personal re-inventions weren’t as extreme or easy to categorize in the 90s and 00s, but I’m sure that was deliberate. After playing so many roles in his lifetime, I’m sure he was happy to just express himself more directly, without couching it in a character.

I loaded up his last album, Blackstar, the day it came out. I didn’t listen to it that day, because I wanted to wait until I had the time to just sit and do nothing but listen, without distraction.

He died two days later.

I made the time.

Blackstar, if you haven’t heard it yet, is… it’s haunting. It’s beautiful and mournful and even a little playful. It’s the best work he’s done since Scary Monsters, in my opinion. Is that assessment colored by the melancholy of his death? It’s possible. But so what. 

I’ve listened to Blackstar four times now. In-between, I’ve been listening to older stuff, all my favorite Bowie tracks. I suspect I will be doing that for many days to come.

I cried when I heard the news that he had died. I have never in my entire life shed tears for the death of a famous person. But David Bowie was different. He was my role model, and my hero. I would not be the person I am today if Bowie had not come into my life.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Dark Corners V. 1, issue 4, and Gideon Miles by Ron Scheer

Dark Corners, if you don't already know, is the creation of my friends Craig and Emily McNeely, a quarterly digest of pulp-style fiction ranging from noir to westerns to sci-fi and everything in between. The new issue is out, and I have a lovely story of domestic bliss in it called "The Good Step-Dad". But don't let that throw you. There are also tales from Ed Kurtz, Will Viharo, Warren Moore, Ryan Sayles, William Wallace, Steve W. Lauden, and more.

One of the highlights is a McNeely-penned tribute to our recently departed friend, the great Ron Scheer, which gives me the perfect opportunity to mention his upcoming book from Beat to a Pulp, MILES TO LOST DOG CREEK. I wanted to mention it because it's a Gideon Miles story. Yep. One of the last things Ron worked on was a tale of our favorite black U.S. Marshall. It's coming soon, so keep your eyes open.

In the meantime, be sure to pick up the new Dark Corners. It's available on Kindle and in paper.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Loving some bad reviews

I don't know, honestly, how much impact reviews have on book sales. But I still like getting them, on Amazon or Goodreads, or personal blogs. A good review always serves as a little ego boost that might make you feel good about what you do for a few minutes or a few hours, depending.

Bad reviews, though they serve no real purpose and I am generally unaffected by them, are sometimes entertaining as well. Once in a while, someone who leaves a bad review will actually make some valid points, but the majority of them are just kinda... well, they are what they are. 

Here's a little collection of  one-and-two-star reviews of my work on Amazon. This is not me railing against bad reviews, I promise; I have enough of an ego that they don't really bother me too much. But if you're a writer disturbed by readers who hate what you do, maybe this will serve as a reminder that ALL of us get 'em, and let's be honest: if everyone enjoyed what you do, odds are you'd be doing something wrong. 


DIG TEN GRAVES-- "Not thrilling or scary, or even remotely shocking.--  I got this book for free for my Kindle, and glad for it. The book seems to be written by a college student going for his English degree."

"I was left with the impression that the author could benefit from counselling."

MILES TO LITTLE RIDGE-- "Not enjoyable.-- the language in this book was offensive and unnecessary for me. often the reviews mention this but I missed it if any did. I didn't compete the book."

"Meh.-- He writes well but he doesn't know his Western history. Get a fact-checker, Lowrance; it would be worth the money."

THE BASTARD HAND-- "Dreadfully dull. Don't waste your time."

"A disappointment. All the characters seem to have an ulterior motive... and none good."


"I'm used to more quality literature. But you can try."

CITY OF HERETICS-- "Read till the end but felt. Bit let down. Ok if there was very little else to read, but not the best I have read."

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Noir at the Bar Chicago

I've wanted to make one of these Noir at the Bar events for a long time now, but circumstances haven't permitted until now. I'll be at this one, reading, signing, drinking, etc, along with some of my favorite indie writers: Jedidiah Ayres, Libby Fischer Hellmann, Jake Hinkson, Kent Gowran, and Dan O'Shea.

If you're in or around Chicago on the 30th, swing by. It should be fun.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Reading from The Bastard Hand

Last Saturday in Grand Rapids, writer Chris DeWildt had a reading/signing for his new novel, LOVE YOU TO A PULP, and he was kind enough to ask me to be a guest reader. I was happy to oblige. Our friend Mary Alles recorded both of us on her phone. If you're interested, here's me talking a bit about my definition of "noir", and reading the first scene from THE BASTARD HAND.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Gideon Miles returns in Edward A. Grainger's Helltown Shootout

Edward A. Grainger (aka David Cranmer),the creator of Western outlaw heroes Cash Laramie and Gideon Miles, has returned with a blistering action story featuring Gideon, "Helltown Shootout". Readers of this blog know I have a special place in my heart for Gideon, having penned two of his adventures so far, so having the character's creator come roaring back with a new adventure is an event. 

Naturally, Grainger's take on the Marshall is spot on, and every bit as rounded and fully-realized as any hero in a Western story has ever been, and reminds me once again why I was so attracted to Gideon in the first place. This one, "Helltown Shootout", finds the level-headed and pragmatic lawman up against overwhelming odds as he takes on an entire gang of outlaws in a thrilling cat-and-mouse series of violent encounters. Allies are scarce in Helltown, and Gideon Miles finds himself pretty much on his own, relying only on his quick wit, blazing Colt, and trusty spring-loaded wrist blade. In the epilogue, Grainger gives us some nice insight into Gideon's processes, and the things that inspire him as one of the first black U.S. Marshall's in the Wyoming Territory. 

This is the 10th volume of the Cash Laramie/Gideon Miles series, following three collections of stories, and a handful of short novels by Grainger, Wayne D. Dundee, Nik Morton, and myself. Highly recommended for fans of fast-paced action yarns.

Monday, February 23, 2015

When Everybody Dies

What would we do, then, if we woke up Thursday morning to find that, overnight, 80% of the world’s population had died in their sleep? Would we/should we mourn? Let’s say, oh, nobody you loved croaked. Just some people somewhere else. If you live in the city, turns out all those folks out in the country died. Or if you’re rural, well… only city dwellers are gone now. All of them, save for a scattering of lost and confused individuals, probably wandering around those suddenly still streets with dumb and vacant looks on their faces. They lost loved ones, you didn’t, and so you watch on the news, in awe over your coffee but untouched, you watch those cheeks streaked with tears.

What if they didn’t die peacefully? What if it was agonizing? Would it touch us any deeper?

Those lost souls, they would have died writhing in pain, blood pouring from their ears and noses and mouths. They’d be found in the morning twisted into ungodly shapes, like those mummified victims in Pompeii.

What if it DID affect us, oh so slightly, in that we lost cousins or distant aunts. We could tell our story of heartbreak at work that day. “Yeah, it’s crazy. I tried to call cousin Jim all morning, but the news guy said just about everyone in Port Huron is gone. Sad. I’m gonna miss him.”

You won’t miss him.

80%, gone. All over the world.

Hell, there probably wouldn’t BE any news about it. All the media outlets would dry up, because the suits and hairstyles that operate them would be gone. Statistically, every member of Congress would be dead too. The president as well. Every world leader, except maybe a couple, but they would be powerless because all the lackeys that enforce their wills would be twisted in death.

What if it DID take your loved ones? Your husband. Your kids. Your mom. What if you had to watch them scream and howl themselves into blackness, their faces contorted and blood-streaked.

You might wish you were amongst the dead. You might kill yourself, not able to face this new, silent world. Who could blame you?

All the fears that have driven you your entire life would become hollow things with no meaning then.

And the worst part, the very worst part, is that somewhere in the farthest regions of the darkest corners of the back of your brain, you would KNOW this had to happen. It couldn’t end any other way. And the planet will carry on without our teeming, swarming masses, it would thrive, really. It would do better than EVER.

Until, a few thousand years from now, we humans make a comeback, maybe, we populate ourselves right to the precipice again, we eat up every resource available to us, we place an almost holy sanctity on the value of our own lives.

And round and round.