Saturday, July 9, 2011

Sleazy Noir Music Contest...


"If you wanna save souls, you can't keep on preachin' to the choir. You got to go OUT in the world and testify."
Yeah, but I'm quite comfortable here on the sofa, and so instead... Pointless contest time.
Actually, it’s not completely pointless—just drumming up interest in my novel, The Bastard Hand.
You in?
Here’s the deal: I have three copies of the novel in trade paperback, ready to fly through the mail and into your grubby little fingers. I’ll even sign ‘em for you, just so you can proudly say you have a personally autographed copy of The Bastard Hand (and folks will look at you with either envy or complete apathy).
What you need to do:
1. “Follow” Psycho-Noir. Yeah, that little button over there on the right. No, the other right.
2. Tell me what you think is the absolute BEST song ever for reading sleazy, morally reprehensible crime fiction.
3. (and this one is kinda important for my nefarious purposes) Maybe tell some other folks (re-tweet, re-post, re-gurgitate, whatever) about how The Bastard Hand changed your life, gave you hope in a hopeless world, a better credit score, etc….
That’s it. That’s all you have to do. On July 16th, a week from today, I’ll randomly select THREE winners (I say random, because if your taste in music sucks it shouldn’t be counted against you, right?), announce them, and send those bad boys out.
So what are you waiting for? Let the musical chaos ensue!

21 comments:

  1. Echoes by Pink Floyd. On repeat. 16 and a half minutes of pure musical goodness.

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  2. Baby did a bad bad thing by Chris Isaak.

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  3. Lately I've been listening to \d Hair of the Dog by Nazareth-- "now you're messin with... a sonofabitch!"

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  4. Whitewash by Buckethead. No, really, just give a listen and see if you don't agree...

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  5. Wow... I have kind of a list...
    "Rev 22:20" by Puscifer is pretty good. A young lass called Stardust did a cover of David Bowie's "Modern Love" that is pretty hard to beat, too -- she gets this great growly thing going, and they kind of industrial'd it up.

    However, the obvious and ultimate king of sleazy noir music is TOM WAITS. Probably too obvious, but seriously, how do you beat "Downtown Train," "Mr. Siegal" or... you know... anything by that man? However, Daryl Scairiot (who doesn't seem to be well-known at all, including where he lives) is pretty awesome. "One of the Good Guys" is kind of a noir manifesto, now I think about it. I could probably keep going, and the minute I post this, I'll think of something else, too.

    And I will definitely tell people about your awesomeness, though I think we're both already following each other. Best of luck on the contest, and I hope that if I don't win, the other guys really deserves it.

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  6. "Heaven's Toll" by Ramsay Midwood. It's Southern-fried goth folk music about a damned soul wishing one of his pissant friends would've at least buried him with a quarter in his mouth. But no, they didn't. Now he's got to figure out who to pay to get into heaven.

    That about sums up noir to me.

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  7. Ok, this sounds like fun. I'd say "White Trash Beautiful" by Everlast would be the perfect song to listen to while reading your book :)

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  8. "Heart Attack and Vine" by Tom Waits. Everything about it is gritty, and I love the "God when he's drunk" bit.

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  9. Gotta agree about Tom Waits but surely he never got more noir than Burma Shave. It's basically a noir short story set to music.

    But if you want to get really down, dirty and sleazy, then skip Tom, and Keren Ann's 101 album, and Kim Lenz and superbly noir Imelda May tracks like Johnny Got A Boom Boom and Knock 123. Go straight to Tindersticks, especially early songs like Whisky & Water and City Sickness. Then ramp up the psycho-aspect with early Sonic Youth like Death Valley 69 and the entire Evol album (not including the rubbish Bubble Gum that got tacked onto the CD re-issue). Then there's Nick Cave's Murder Ballads album. As psycho-noir as it gets. But if you want a little more country influence then nothing is dirtier or sleazier than the album Badlands by Dirty Beaches. It makes me want to take a shower.

    Single best song? I couldn't possibly. Okay, Whisky & Water. Or Too Sad To Cry by Imelda May. Or The Curse Of Millhaven by Nick Cave. Or, damn it, any Tom Waits from the 70s or 80s. Or even Slow Down You Grave Robbing Bastard by the Meteors.

    Never mind. Best song: (rolls dice, flips coin, sticks pins randomly into iPod) Death Valley 69.

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  10. Damn it, I forgot about Patty Waters. Anything by her will do but the album Patty Waters Sings... is amazing.

    The stand out track is the epic poem to madness and devotion on side 2, Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair, but side 1 contains painfully beautiful songs of loss such as Moon, Don't Come Up Tonight. Perfect for late night readings of Goodis or James M Cain.

    On the other hand, I think I'll go for Whisky & Water by Tindersticks. Maybe.

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  11. ... And I forgot about Dirty Beaches, though I would also submit the Weeknd, for very new music.

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  12. mmm Maybe Red Right Hand by Nick Cave or Sixteen Shells From a Thirty-aught Six by Tom Waits. Perhaps Waiting for the Miracle by Leonard Cohen or Choctaw Bingo by James McMurtry. But most often lately - Mickey Mouse and the Goodbye Man by Grinderman.

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  13. Gallon Drunk's "From the Heart of Town", particularity "Jake On the Make"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oMD6jj9UdY

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  14. Flaming Stars are also good, but considering that Max Decharne wrote "Hardboiled Hollywood" it might be an obvious choice

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  15. Tom Waits "Way Down in the Hole" is perfect for reading any story set in Memphis. I like to listen to Junior Kimbrough, too, because I've always said his music evokes the feeling of being chased through the woods in the dark.

    I actually like to read to music that doesn't have any words in it, no vocals at all. For reading psycho-noir I find Thelonious Monk works, too.

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  16. The Road to Hell (Chris Rea)--with full intro.

    But also, yeah, Cohen, but I'll go with "The Future". Amzing choices all around on that NBK soundtrack.

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  17. I'm changing my vote to "Something I Can Never Have" (NIN)
    http://youtu.be/WAGAoy5WZWY

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  18. Tom Waits-Bone Machine or Nice Cave & the Bad Seeds-Henry's Dream.


    That is all.

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  19. Whatever Lola Wants by Nina Simone

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  20. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. AC/DC. All hail Mr. Bon Scott!!

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  21. I second Jedidiah Ayres' recommendation of Nick Cave's RED RIGHT HAND and Andrew's vote for The Flaming Stars, and also add The Violent Femmes' COUNTRY DEATH SONG and absolutely anything by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (but if I must choose then SPREAD YOUR LOVE, LOVE BURNS, BEAT THE DEVIL'S TATTOO and RIVER STYX). Ditto anything by The Cramps (especially I AIN'T NUTHIN' BUT A GOREHOUND, WHAT'S INSIDE A GIRL and CAN YOUR PUSSY DO THE DOG.

    No need to put me in the draw for a copy - I already have it and it's brilliant :o)

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